A friend mentioned how lonely he felt. Said friend is an FTM and it got me to thinking about myself and my own sense of loneliness. I think that because I am transsexual, I feel separated from cisgendered individuals and the world in general. Don't get me wrong, I think everybody has issues like this at one time or another, but when you're trans that sense doesn't seem to go away. (at least in my case) I'm always separated from the world. I can't help feeling this way. I have friends, very good friends who know about who and what I am and that care about me, but I don't fit in. I don't even fit in with other trans people. My friend drags me to this club on Saturday nights that caters to trans people. I've made some acquaintances, but never made any friends there. I'm not sure why this is. I just don't fit there. I don't seem to fit anywhere. Always separated... I can't have normal romantic relationships, at least not at this time, for fear of having to come out to someone I love only to be turned away or hurt. The men that I have met that do know (aka tranny-chasers) all seem to be rather creepy and only want one thing, like I'm some sort of cheap whore. *Sigh* I wonder if having my bottom surgery will help with this at all?
No comments:
Post a Comment